Welcome to Social Security. But not yet. :( You're forewarned

The Social Security Administration employee assured me that every person born on the first day of any month was eligible for Social Security the month before their birthday, and therefore, I would be eligible for Social Security in the month of January.

I was counting on getting that money when I was eligible for it.

No such luck.  :(

Over a week after I expected to receive my first check, I finally got the bad news in the mail--apparently, when one is eligible in the month of X, one actually receives one's first payment the following month.

You couldn't have explained that to me several months ago, when we spoke on the phone?